The Tale of Old Sir Placid

And so Sir Turbidity rode out on his little adventure with his squire, Echolalia, on his fat little donkey, beside him. They rode to the south, crossing a grassy plain filled with golden wheat. As they were riding along, they heard faint cries for help. They turned and headed in the direction of the commotion. When they reached the source of the cries, they found a young boy of five being strangled to death by a grass snake the size of a horse. The snake turned to face Turbidity and hissed at him, “Ssssstay away. Thissss boy isssssss my food. Leave me to my meal, unlesssss you want to be my meal too.” “How about this?” Sir Turbidity asked. “We’ll play a game of riddles, and whoever wins gets the boy and the loser won’t attack the winner and vice versa. That sound okay?” The snake sat there for a minute, thinking. “I guessss sssssso. Letssss play.” Sir Turbidity went first. “Okay, here goes. What is red in the morning, yellow at noon, and red in the afternoon?” The ssssssun.” The snake answered. The snake went next. “In a year, a quarter I am pink, a quarter I am green, a quarter I am red, and a quarter I am brown. What am I?” Sir Turbidity answered, “An apple tree.” And so they went on, for two days, exchanging riddles of increasingly difficult quality. Until, on the morning of the third day, Sir Turbidity asked, “I walk on four legs in the morning, two legs at midday, and three legs at sunset. What am I?” The snake answered, “A bear.” “Wrong!” Sir Turbidity shouted triumphantly. “It’s a man! I get the boy!” And so Sir Turbidity took the boy from the snake and back to his parents, where he was thanked splendidly.